The Scarvelis Dump

I’ve been feeling very, very nervous and jumpy lately. I don’t know what the problem is. Usually when I’m a nervous wreck, I can just think about it and put my finger on the cause. This time, though, I’m at a total loss. Maybe it’s the weather or something? I just hope I’m not psychic, because if I am, something horrible is going to happen. Oh, great. Now I feel even worse.

I started to feel these crippling waves of panic about a week ago. Wednesday morning at 2:33 a.m. to be exact. That’s precisely when I found myself on the kitchen floor with a bloody shin. I only sleepwalk when I’m feeling especially disturbed. The last time something like this happened was in late July of last year. I found myself collapsed on the landing just outside the kitchen door (with the door locked behind me and the keys in my hand). That time I was in the middle of a financial catastrophe. This time I must have fallen before opening the door, and I sustained an injury. The problem is, I just can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. I suppose I should be happy that I landed wedged between the refrigerator and the wall, instead of in the cats’ litter box. Maybe it’s work, or this blog, or something like that. The holidays are coming up, maybe it’s that—I always get nervous and irrational around the holidays, especially Christmas, which, if you really think about it, is just around the corner.

I’ll figure it out, I guess. This has happened a couple of times before and I’ve found that it can go away just as quickly as it started in the first place. In the meantime, I’ve been trying to focus on happy thoughts. So that’s what I’m going to share with you today—happy thoughts:

New Socks—There’s nothing, and I mean nothing, like slipping on a pair of brand new socks! Socks never feel as good as the first time they’re worn. Once you wash them, the magic is gone. I remember reading somewhere that Jerry Lewis never wears a pair of socks twice. When he’s done with a brand new pair, he just chucks them in the trash and puts on another brand new pair. I think I read that The Backstreet Boys did the same thing. Boy, what a life that must be, new socks every single day. If I could afford to do that, I bet I wouldn’t have a worry in the world.

Clean Sheets—Unlike socks, good, 800+ thread-count, 100% Egyptian cotton bed linens just get better and better with age and careful washing. I know a lot of women who synchronize their bed sheet changing with their leg shaving, just so they can experience clean sheets to the fullest with nice, smooth legs. Yesterday I changed the sheets on my bed, but I didn’t shave my legs. I’ve never shaved my legs and even if I wanted to I wouldn’t really be able to right now because of the big scab on my left shin.

Ice Water—There’s something so refreshing about a big glass of ice water. I don’t know what it is, but I find the clink and clank of ice cubes in a glass of ice water to be like beautiful music, or wind chimes. Sometimes I’ll fix myself a nice glass of ice water when I’m not even thirsty, just to calm myself. I think I went through about six bags of ice this past weekend. Every time I started to feel a little better, I had to run to the bathroom, which aggravated me.

Kraft Fudgies—When I was a kid and felt poorly, I’d gorge myself on these. They always made me feel wonderful. Unfortunately, they are no longer sold in the United States.

Homemade Chicken and Rice Soup—This always makes me feel very good. I find it calming, as it is both nutritious and tasty. Yesterday I decided to make a big pot of this delicious soup from scratch. I went out and bought an organic chicken, some carrots, onions, celery, potatoes, chicken stock and rice. I boiled the chicken and the vegetables in the stock with some water, along with salt, pepper, bay leaves and garlic. I strained the broth, added rice, the chicken meat, and more veggies and slowly, carefully cooked it some more. A lot of love went into that pot of soup, I’ll tell you. Unfortunately, it tasted like sulfur. I ate maybe two spoonfuls and ended up flushing the whole pot of soup down the toilet (I don’t have a garbage disposal). I ended up eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner and that made me depressed because peanut butter and jelly sandwiches remind me of my futile and miserable childhood.

The Ocean—I love the ocean. There is nothing more soothing than the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. And the smell of the sea mist in the air, I think it literally cleanses one’s soul. Too bad the ocean is several hundred miles away from Cleveland. If there was an ocean here, you’d better believe that’s where I’d be. Maybe I’d go on weekends or after work to clear my head, but I guess that’s just more of my pie-in-the-sky, childish, wishful thinking.

Family Picnics—These are wonderful, lazy days that seem to never end with my near and dear. The smell of the barbecue, the taste of cold beer, the laughter of children and the rich stories as told by the elders. It’s sad that all the little kids are now grown up and scattered all over the country. And so many people have died or are in the hospital or the nursing home, it’s just impossible to get together any more.

Stouffer’s Noodles Romanoff—Just about the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. I truly believe that food is one of the great pleasures of life. Just like the Kraft folks and their Fudgies, Stouffer’s no longer makes Noodles Romanoff. It’s like there’s some conspiracy in the food business where they find out exactly what foods make me feel good and calm and then they snuff it to punish me or something. What’s next, Mrs. T’s Pierogies?

Well, since some of you have complained about the length of my blog entries, I’m going to end this one here. I’ll let you all know how things work out with this little funk of mine. Cheers!

WEEKEND UPDATE

This past Saturday I got up late and went to see the movie Tropic Thunder by myself because nobody would return my calls. The movie was a disappointment. After the movie I went to visit my friends’ Aylie and Andy’s new kitten (his name is either Huey or The Colonel—still undecided). I tried to watch Charlie Wilson’s War on DVD, but listened to music instead. Went to bed.

On Sunday I got up late, went to the grocery store, came home, made soup, washed sheets and towels, changed the bed, tried the soup, threw the soup in the toilet, fixed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and went to bed hungry.